Scottish Temperature Scale 

 

The Fahrenheit Temperature Scale for Scotland

50F degrees 
People in southern England turn on the central heating 
People in Edinburgh plant out bedding plants 

40F degrees 
Southerners shiver uncontrollably 
Glaswegians sunbathe on the beach at Largs 

35F degrees 
Cars in the south of England refuse to start 
People in Falkirk drive with their windows down 

20F degrees 
Southerners wear overcoats, gloves and woolly hats 
Aberdonian men throw on a T-shirt & girls start wearing mini-skirts 

15F degrees 
Southerners begin to evacuate to the continent 
People from Dundee swim in the North Sea at Broughty Ferry 

Zero degrees 
Life in the south grinds to a halt 
Inverness folk have the last BBQ before it gets cold 

Minus 10F degrees 
Life in the south ceases to exist 
People in Dunfermline throw on a light jacket 

Minus 80F degrees 
Polar bears wonder if it's worth carrying on 
Boy Scouts in Oban start wearing their long trousers 

Minus 100F degrees 
Santa Claus abandons North Pole 
People in Stirling put on their 'long johns' 

Minus 173F degrees 
Alcohol freezes 
Glaswegians get upset because all the pubs are shut 

Minus 297F degrees 
Microbial life starts to disappear 
The cows in Dumfriesshire complain about farmers with cold hands 

Minus 460F degrees 
All atomic motion stops 
Shetlanders stamp their feet and blow on their hands 

Minus 500F degrees 
Hell freezes over 
Scotland win the World Cup

 

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